bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
