Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
