seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize