this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
