Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
