BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
