Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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