What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize