I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
