Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
