Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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