we have officially lost it.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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