The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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