Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
