she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize