I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
3 2 1 whiskey
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
