Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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