i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
