We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
