my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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