My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
