She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
