If that was your dad, he is hot
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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