My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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