Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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