I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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