I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
