STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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