More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize