Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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