Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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