ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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