he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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