My first STD was from a foam party
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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