I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this boner is exhausting
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
