dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You ruined the universe
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
