RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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