WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
