she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
