anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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