Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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