PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize