so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize