WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
