So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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