I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
