PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
