ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
