I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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