Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize