kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
