i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
