This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
