so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
