i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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