Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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