cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize