the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
