sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
