How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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