I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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