i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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