My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
