How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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