This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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