I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You took a bar mat shot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
