Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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