I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
