Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize