Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
