writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
