I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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