the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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