My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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