Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize