thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
