For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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