Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize