omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
PANTIES FOUND
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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