He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
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you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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