I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
