I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize