two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
