I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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